In the book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, Eker talks about the money blueprint that we create as children; how our parents or other important figures affect the way we look at and treat money when we become adults. And that blueprint has nothing to do with whether they were good role models or bad ones. We absorb the words and actions of our mentors as children, and subconsciously choose to imitate or rebel against what we have learned. We don’t even know we are doing this!
For example, I remembered events in my childhood that displayed my parents’ willingness to sacrifice for their children. My father cut out cardboard for his shoes, so that a child could have new shoes for his or her growing feet. My mother would stretch the food budget by doing without her own dinner on the nights my father worked. My parents gave us everything we needed – but not everything we wanted. “We’re work horses, not show horses,” my father would say. We were a traditional, one-income family, with Depression-era parents who knew how to use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. The bills were always paid. There was always laughter in the house, and lots of love.
After my first marriage ended and I found myself single with two small children, I took on several extra jobs to make ends meet. We picked up aluminum cans to contribute to the food budget. Times were very tough. But the kids and I were close-knit and happy. Money wasn’t the important part of our lives. Love was.
I married again. It ended 20 years later, and for a time I was lost with subconscious thoughts of betrayal and uncertainty. I was happy, as I had always been, and I had moved on with my life – but somehow I didn’t understand how to hurdle the financial obstacles past “making ends meet.” I found myself alone again, this time with no children. I struggled to turn my part-time writing business into a full time one. I had no college degree, so I knew that if I wanted to do more than make ends meet I had to work for myself. I became ill, and during that time I began divorce proceedings. The medical and legal bills started to roll in.
After the marital home was sold and the divorce was final, I decided to pay off all my outstanding bills. I bought a neglected, 100-year-old house in the middle of the city for $34,000 cash, and I moved into one room of the house while I started repairs. I continued to write, but took on part time jobs here and there to fill in the gaps. I was living well below poverty level.
I knew it would get better – I am a lifelong believer in optimism and the law of attraction, and I felt my thoughts together with action would bring opportunities for me to grow.
Fast forward to today. I realize now that I had taken on the money blueprint of “poor.” In my head, I was “sacrificing” for my children, being the good parent by doing without things; keeping myself in a place that allowed me to budget on the money that came in, but no more than that. I was repeating my mother’s role of budgeting on the partner’s salary (the monthly amount I was awarded in the divorce). The universe supported that deep-rooted thought by finding ways to keep me from saving any part of my freelance or part-time income; my car needed repair, I would have to take care of an expensive repair on the house, or I would send money to someone who needed it more than I did. The Universe was answering my subconscious request to give me what I needed – and not what I wanted.
That stops now.
I am creating a new money blueprint.